06.23.05 - 12:39 a.m.

Awhile ago I went to the Henry Darger movie at long last. I watched the drawings of oversized housecats romping with a sisterhood of militant-but-sweet girls called the Vivians. I was gripped by the beauty and instant drama of the only 2 animated scenes in the movie that got shadows. Shadows bowl me over.

So Darger was a mentally irregular recluse janitor who spent every night of his whole life writing and illustrating an epic 12-volume storybook. He privately charted new territory with tracing paper and crayons. In the dark of the theater this kind of focus felt ideal. I ran through all my entanglements and knew that vanishing would take planning, though. But I do want to seal myself in a shabby flat somewhere, someday, and finally get things done. All these funny and interesting kids can be distracting.

And there's another one now too, who's more than a distraction but not a project. I hope that what he's made of and what air he breathes becomes more clear over time. Love creates mythical creatures that can still be touched.

see< >saw

i whisper hello to everything